shutupaubrey:

my dad and this other guy were fighting over who would go on a date with my mom in high school so they put their forearms together and my mom dropped a lit cigarette in between them and said “first one to pull away loses” and my dad still has a little scar

(via jess1cacruz)

c-apsicle:

gargoylesarecool:

ectoghostologist:

i love being tight with teachers because you get to hear them talk shit about other teachers its so funny they all act like highschoolers except they get paid 

They talk shit about other students if they like you enough too.

Two of my English teachers told me they place bets on who will win when they find out there’s going to be a fight between the students

(Source: johncest, via forever-a-memory)

geeses:

if you want my legs to be shaved every day then you can do it for me and ill see how long it takes for you to not care anymore

(via forever-a-memory)